


My Whole Life

by Lavatwilight



Category: Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-03
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2019-01-08 10:27:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12252507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lavatwilight/pseuds/Lavatwilight
Summary: Set after Wild at Heart. Complete alternate canon.Willow leaves Sunnydale after Oz leaves and heads to LA for some much needed time away from the Hellmouth.





	1. Go Your Own Way

**Author's Note:**

> Alternative canon. Willow is much more then just a shy geeky girl. Living on the Hellmouth has made Willow a bad ass witch who can’t control her powers. Will do a lot of flash backs to season 1 through to WAH. Introducing a complete original character in the form of her Uncle as her parents have died in this canon. Also no Willow/Xander cheating in this story, but I will touch on their relationship in a later chapter. Each chapter is a song title that is apart of my Spotify playlist. Comments welcome and enjoy

Willow sighed as she put her bags down beside her and glanced quickly at her reflection in the glass. She was tired and frazzled after the journey from Sunnydale and was in dire need of a hot shower and food that wasn't from a bus stop vending machine. "You can do this", she told herself as she hesitated at the door knob. "Just grab hold and twist, that's all you gotta do'" Taking a deep breath, and then another for good measure she opened the door, grabbed her bag from the floor and walked into the office of Angel Investigations.

Doyle hated manning the office. Actually hate was a strong work, he detested holding down the fort during the day. Sure when your boss is a vampire and Cordelia auditioning for acting jobs Doyle drew the short straw of answering any phone calls or greeting walk in clients that needed Angel for help. It just didn't help that neither of those things had been happening for a week or so or his mind splitting visions from the joyful Powers That Be. "Probably gone on a Powers That Be retreat" Doyle thought. "Wonder if they sing Kombiya around a camp fire?" He chuckled to himself as he flipped through one of Cordys fashion magazines she left on her desk. He was about to call it a day, hoping to catch a few hours of sleep before heading down the race track, when he heard the office door open, and a small petite red head walked in looking around for someone in the room.

"Welcome to Angel Investigations." Doyle said as he threw the magazine into the top drawer and out of sight. He stood and went over, hand extended in a friendly handshake which the young woman took. "Names Doyle, how can I help?"

Willow looked around, taking in the small office and the man who stood before her. The small hairs on her neck went up as she looked at him, knowing that this was someone who wasn't completely human that stood before her. "I need to talk to Angel. It's kinda important." She said once again dropping her bag beside her. With her hands free she started to fidget with them nervously while still looking around the office.  
"No worries." Doyle replied "Unfortunately he's not in at the moment but I'm sure I can help with whatever you need"  
Willow looked at him " No I need Angel. I know his apartment is downstairs and I really need to talk to him. "  
Doyle looked at her only now seeing the lack of sleep in her eyes and the nervousness in her voice. Slowly he nodded and gestured to Angels Office. "Why don't you sit in there and I'll pop down and see if he's taking visitors?"  
Willow smiled and nodded slightly, the nervousness never leaving her hands as she opened it and sat down before the desk. Doyle looked at her for another second before turning around and heading downstairs to Angels apartment.

"Slow day?" angel asked as Doyle walked into his apartment. It was very rare that he got a day to himself without interruptions and while Angel didn't mind the Irish half demon coming down to keep himself occupied, sometimes it would be nice to be alone with his thoughts for a full day.

"Actually there's a girl in your office to see you." Doyle replied "Asked to speak to you, saying it was urgent."

Angel looked up from his book with slight intrigue. Even he had to admit to himself that it had been quiet for far too damn long. "Did she say what the issue was?"

"Nah, just that she wanted to speak to you." Doyle said as he started to lean against the doorway. "Pretty young thing too. If your into redheads."

Angel put his bookmark, a picture of Buffy, into his book as he shut it up. "Red hair?" Panic started to slowly rise in his stomach.

"Yeah, short like a pixies."

Angel slowly started making his way towards the stairs, panic turning into full blow fear. Pushing past Doyle he ran up the stairs and into his office to find Willow sitting there, waiting for him.

"Willow?"

"Hi Angel. Sorry to drop in on you like this but I was hoping we could talk?" Willow said

"Is Buff-?"

"Oh god, Angel, I'm sorry I didn't think." Willow rose to her feet hands up "Buffy is fine. Completely hunky dory!" She smiled at him.

Angel sighed with relief as he Moved into the office to take his seat behind the desk. When your Ex girlfriends best friend walks into her office with a look of sadness and despair in her eyes he assumed the worst. Angel Gestured to Willow to sit down while he read the look on her face. If it wasn't Buffy that she was her for, he wondered what it could be.

"What can I help you with willow?" He asked

Willow sighed as she looked at Angel and started to tell him the reason as to why she was there.

 

Doyle looked up from Cordelia's desk every now and then to watch Angel and the small red head talk. Whatever they were talking about was making the girl cry and Angel look at her with a mixture of worry and sadness on his face. It was clear to Doyle that the two knew each other and that Angel cared for the girl deeply, explaining the look Doyle was observing on Angels face. "Someone from Sunnydale?" He thought to himself as he once again went back to flipping through the magazine. His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the Telephone roaring to life and slicing through the silence. Doyle picked up the handset once again returning his gaze to Angels office.

"Angel investigations we help to helpless."

Angel looked at willow, taking in everything she told him. She looked tired and worn down, not just from the trip to LA, but from the whole fiasco that went down just a couple days ago in Sunnydale.

"Can you help me?" She asked, breaking him out of his train of thought.

Before he could give her an answer, there was a soft knock at his office door and Doyle popped his head in.

"Sorry to interrupt" he said "but there's a call for from a Rupert Giles for you. Said it's urgent. Something about a missing couple?"

Angel looked at Doyle before returning his gaze to Willow. The tiredness in her eyes was replaced with a slight look of fear and he knew exactly why he was receiving this call.

"You didn't tell them you were both leaving, did you?" He asked her

"No.” Willow replied flicking her gaze between Angel and Doyle. “He left before I did.”

Angel nodded at her " Put it through to me Doyle."

Doyle looked at the girl curiously before turning to put through the call to Angel.

"Please.." Willow pleaded. "Please don't tell them I'm here."

Angel regarded her for a moment before he picked up receiver.

"Giles? Is everything ok?"

Angel listened to the British Ex-Watcher tell him exactly everything willow had just told him. What had happened seem to have affected everyone of the Scooby gang, not just Willow.

"Has Willow or Oz contacted you by any chance Angel?" Giles asked.

Angel looked at Willow, trying to decide wether to tell Giles that the girl had indeed contacted him and that she was asking him not to tell him that she was there.

"Sorry Giles, I haven't heard from either of them." Angel Answered, noting the look of relief in Willow's eyes. "But if I do I'll make sure to let you know."

Angel said his goodbyes, hung up the phone and looked at Willow.

"When was the last time you slept?" He asked

"Friday night?" She replied "I uh, kinda lost track after being the snack of a vindictive werewolf."

Angel rose up, looking at his watch. It was getting close to sun down and he could use something to eat and he saw that willow could use something to eat along with a nice long sleep.

"Ok let's go and get you something to eat. You can crash downstairs for as long as you need." He said to her as he guided her back out into the main office where Doyle was sitting at Cordelias desk pretending not to notice them walking back in.

"Can I go downstairs quickly to freshen up?" Willow asked as she picked up her bags.

"Of course. Towels are in the bathroom if you want to take a quick shower?" Angel said, calling up the elevator for her.

Willow turned and gave him a quick hug. "Thanks Angel. I owe you"

"You gave me back my soul Willow. Pretty sure I owe you for the rest of my existence." Angel said, returning the hug awkwardly.

Willow quickly stepped into the elevator and pushed the down, nodding slightly at Angel as she went down into his Apartment.

Angel turned and looked at the Irish half-demon who had watched the exchange with intrigue.

"So that's the all powerful witch who re-souled you huh? She's uh, smaller then I expected."

"She has always been underestimated. Willow is more powerful then even she knows." Angel replied "And just as innocent."

"So something went down in Sunnydale then?"

"You could say that." Angel answered. "I'll explain later. Right now I need to get her mind off of it and hope she can get some sleep before she burns out."

Angel walked back into his office, shut the door behind him. He sighed as he sat down in his chair, his mind heavy with everything willow had told him. It was hard to be so young and in love. Harder even when the person you love turns into a blood thirsty wolf three nights out of the month. And then to add another wolf into the mix, one that didn't care if she was killing people on those nights, it was almost impossible to comprehend it all. Unfortunately for the female wolf Veruca, she had underestimated Willow and the power she possessed. It was only luck that Willow escaped mostly unhurt, But Angel knew that it was going to be hard for her, not just nursing the heartache of Oz's betrayal and departure, but also the knowledge that in the end it was her that had managed to get the upper hand over the female wolf and she had been the one to plunge the silver knife into Verucas heart before she could finish her change into the killing machine that would have ultimately claimed Willow's life. Angel understood the notion "wolves mate for Life." He only hoped that given everything that went down that Oz and willow could figure it out and make their way back to each other. Even Angel could see that what they have was unique and irreplaceable and he would hate for them to lose something so pure in such a harsh way.


	2. Fortress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Doyle finds out a little bit more about Willow’s Life

Willow turned off the knobs to the shower, happy to get the bus travel smell off her skin and out of her hair. Stepping out of the enclosed space, grabbing a towel off the rack as she went past, she walked over to the basin and looked in the mirror. She looked horrible, tired worn out eyes looking back at her and her skin was dry like the desert. She moved into the bedroom and started shifting through her bags to find something comfortable to wear. Her fingers fumbling around until they found something rectangular and hard. Dragging it out she looked at the picture in her hands, a sob catching in her throats when she saw Oz's and her own face smiling face's looking back at her. Letting the tears fall, she put the photo down and started getting dress, wincing when she moved and the bruises and scratches pulled on her skin. They were superficial compared to the pain in her heart and soul. She was already missing home, her friends, her apartment, her uncle Gary... but she was missing Oz the most. His smile, his hands, the way he could turn off her brain for even just a few moments. He is her soulmate, the one person she didn't expect to fall for, her anchor, the one who knew exactly what it was like to have a part of you that you can't control. Only Willow needed an anchor to help her control that side, where as Oz didn't have that luxury. Sighing, Willow stood up and headed upstairs to the main office ready to forget about everything, even if it was for a little bit.

  
After dinner, Angel put willow to bed. She had gotten through the dinner without much issue, only tearing up towards the end of the night. She had passed out in the office waiting for Angel to bring her coffee so he carried her downstairs and put her in his bed. He noticed the picture frame laying on top of her bag and looked at it before placing it on the nightstand as Doyle walked in.

"Finally asleep?" He asked, walking over to Angel

"Yeah. Figure she'll be asleep for a while. She's gonna need it" Angel turned to look at him. Doyle looked at the picture.

"Isn't this Oz? The werewolf from Sunnydale who brought you the Gem of Amara?" Doyle pointed at the photo.

"Yeah. Although from what Cordelia mentioned you refer to him as my little Bam Bam." Angel smirked as he led Doyle upstairs. "How did you know he was a werewolf? I don't remember telling you that."

"I'm half demon. I can smell a werewolf from a mile away." Doyle replied. “Pretty sure he figured out I wasn’t human either. Never did say anything about it either”

Angel smiled. “Sounds like Oz.” Angel sat down behind his desk, motioning towards to cup of coffee. “Its all yours if you want it.”

Doyle took the cup gratefully and took a sip. “Willow likes sweet coffee...” He smiled “girl after me own heart. So why is she here looking like the world has ended?”

“To her, it has.” Angel said softly. “As I said before, Willow is a very strong and capable woman. Always underestimated. Oz saw her for who she truly was, as did I. All three of us have our own hidden demon, Mine is the vampire within me, Oz the wolf and hers is the power that was fed into her by the hellmouth.”

Doyle looked at him with a confused look evident in his eyes. Angel sighed as he started to talk.

“It seems Willow was always destined for something more then just a regular life. She was born and raised in Sunnydale, life nothing unordinary until her parents died in a car accident when she was 15, a year before Buffy came into town.”

“Oh man that’s a tough break at her age.” Doyle remarked

“Indeed. She was lucky though, she had her uncle, Xander, Jesse and then within a year she had Buffy, Giles and by association, myself and within another year there was Cordelia and Oz. She is very loved by us all.”

“So what’s with the hellmouth power thing?”

“Well not long after buffy came to Sunnydale, some cheerleaders were being targeted by a mother of a girl who was trying out for the team. They came up with a way to track her down through a spell. From what I could make of it, Willow had a natural curiosity about who she thought she might be and performed the spell on herself, thus proving something she had felt for a very long time. She was a witch, a natural and powerful one at that.”

“Interesting.” Doyle remarked. “How did she take it?”

“Not well from what I heard. When she realised that she was something quite powerful, she was sure Buffy was going to slay her. Willow didn’t understand the concept of good and evil in the world that involves vampires,demons and slayers. She only saw herself the way that she believed others would see her. She didn’t yet know that her power was coming from those feelings. So when she started to withdrawal from those who loved her, her power became quite uncontrollable.”

“So what happened? Obviously it turned out ok seeing as she is alive and here.” Doyle asked

“Giles figured out what has happening, helped her get it under control before anyone got hurt with her uncles help. Buffy and Xander accepted who she was and what she could do and the rest is history.”

“How did she get that amount of power under control? It’s not exactly an easy thing to do.”

Angel smiled at him, knowing that even after everything that he had seen, Doyle’s curiosity was still alive and kicking.

“They gave her an anchor of sorts. Something she could wear to help her with control, all the while blocking out whatever effect the hellmouth was pushing into her. From memory it started out as a ring her uncle gave her, something that held a lot of meaning to her, and then when Oz came along, he become her anchor. Which is why I was surprised about everything that went down.”

“Something big?”

“A female wolf came into the mix, tried to claim Oz as her mate, saw that he was the loyal type to Willow so she decided that Willow was the problem and tried to kill her.”

“Let me guess. Oz got to her first?” Doyle Mused

“Not exactly.” Angel replied “Willow was at the Bronze, a club she owns with her uncle Gary, Veruca shows up, taunts her a little bit until Oz shows up. Willow knew that it would have to come down to one of them putting down Veruca, so she took it upon herself to do so. Sent Oz back to his cage for the change and took down the rouge wolf.”

“So she’s incredibly powerful then.” Doyle mused “Remind me not to piss her off while she’s here.”

“More so now.” Angel remarked “Now that she doesn’t have an Anchor, Willow will have a hard time trying to control her powers. It’s actually the reason she left Sunnydale and came here.”

Doyle was going to ask more when they heard the door to the office open again and Cordelia walked into the office with Chinese take out in her hand.

“Hey Guys! Brought some dinner on my way back from my Auditions...” She trailed off when she saw the grim looks on their faces.

“Hey Cordy.” Angel said “You should probably sit down. Something happened in Sunnydale and we have a visitor staying for a while.”

Cordy sat down with her two companions and listened to what went down on her home town.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fortress - Queens of the Stone Age


	3. Fate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Willow and Oz dream about each other. Angel knows more then he is letting on.

Oz was tired. He had been driving for three days straight and was now nearing the point of total exhaustion but didn’t want to stop. Stopping would mean thinking and he didn’t want to think about the choices he made over the last week, right now he just needed to keep going. Unfortunately for him, his van had other ideas, as it started to steam from the bonnet and slowed down on the road. Cursing he pulled over the side, turned off the ignition and sat in silence.

“How could Ive have been blind?” He thought. Even Willow had sensed something was different with Veruca and had tried to tell him in her own way. He should have told someone the moment he was away from Veruca, hell even if had told Xander it still would have been a better then way he handled it. And now here he was, miles away from the only person he has ever loved, feeling sorry for himself. Unclipping his seatbelt, Oz locked the doors and slid into the back of the van to finally giving into the much needed sleep, all the while hoping he will dream of Willow and better days.

He was standing in their bedroom waiting for her to come out of the shower. These were the times that he loved the most. Being alone in their domain, not a care in world, no apocalypse to stop. Just the two of them spending time together even if it was for a short time.

“Shiny nickel for your thoughts?” She asked, pulling him out of his thoughts

He turned and faced her. Her hair was up in a messy bun, towel wrapped around her body as she walks out of the bathroom and towards their closet. He could smell the body wash on her skin, the smell of wet hair where the water had splashed back into the bun. He still looked at her as if it was the first time he had seen her and counted himself lucky to have someone like her in his life.

“Just thinking how lucky I am.” He replied coming up behind her, turning her around so she was facing him. Her green eyes twinkled as she lent in to kiss him. When they pulled apart they were standing in the middle of the bronze, their friends around them dancing.

“How did we get here?” He asked her, looking confused.

“This is my safe place remember?” She looks around “I always dream of us here.”

He pulled her against him, swaying to the song being played over the PA system just happy to have her in his arms even if it was in a dream.

“It’s more then a dream.” She whispered in his ear. “I don’t know how or why but I know this isn’t just a dream.”

He pulls away from her, looking around and seeing that they were now alone. He looks at her face, seeing the tears running down them as she stares back at him.

“Willow... Please don’t cry.” He pleads as he pulls her towards him.

“I can’t help it.” She grabs ahold of his arm and falls into the hug he was offering. “I love you and your not here with me. I miss you.”

“I miss you.” He whispers into her hair, taking in her scent. “More then you know.” They slow dance, tears running down their faces as they hold each other.

Then suddenly he was alone...

Willow woke. It took only a split second for her to remember she wasn’t in her bed and then another to realise that it wasn’t her apartment. She raised her hands to her face to rub the sleep from her eyes, then pulled them back when she felt her tears. “Great.” She thought bitterly “Now   
I’m crying in my sleep. Like I haven’t done enough of that already.” She sat up suddenly when she remembered why she was crying. “It was just a dream.” Willow thought to herself. “A silly emotional dream.”

Looking around, she saw the clock on the bedside table. She had been asleep for over twelve hours and was feeling better then she had in been in days. Swinging her legs out of the covers, she grabbed her toiletries bag and a towel and headed for the bathroom for a nice long shower.

Cordelia was still coming to terms with the news Angel delivered to her yesterday about her friends in Sunnydale. As superficial as it’s sounds, she was glad she wasn’t there to witness it in person. Cordelia had seen enough despair and heartache in her life and was quite done being around it.

“Of course having Angel brood over Buffy was an everyday occurrence that I’m forced to endure.” Cordelia thought to herself. “ I hope Willow isn’t like that whiles She’s here.”

As if hearing her thoughts, Cordelia heard the Elevator come up from Angels apartment and the petite red hair girl came into view. Angel appeared from his office as willow stepped out.

“Morning.” Willow said to Angel who offered her a cup of coffee. “This isn’t the one from last night is it?”

Angel smirked “Maybe.”

Willow smiled at him as she drank from the cup, and turned to Cordelia.

“Hey Cordy.”

Cordelia looked at her for a split second before walking over and wrapping her arms around her and pulling her into a hug.

“Oh- Ok.” Willow stammered out before wrapping her own hands around the tall brunette. This wasn’t the first time Cordelia had hugged her like this, but it was still strange to her none the less. Even Angel had a surprised look on his face as he watched on.

Cordelia pulled back, looked at Willow a final time before turning around and picking up her bag from the desk.

“Sorry I gotta go. Got another round of Auditions today.” She said as she bounced out of the office, leaving behind Willow and an equally stunned Vampire.

“Well, that was different.” Willow remarked as she finished off her coffee.

“Indeed.” Angel replied. “How are you feeling?”

Willow shrugged as she walked over to Corey’s desk to put down her coffee cup. “Sleeping helped. Thanks again for letting me crash downstairs.”

“Not a problem. What are your plans for today?”

Willow sighed as she turned around to answer “My uncle gave me an address for a bar in downtown L.A.. Told me that I should go there once I got to town and talk to the owner about something. He was kinda vague about it.”

“Which Bar?”

“Caritas? Some one named Lorne owns it.” Willow replied

Angel went to tell her not to go until he was able to come along and keep her safe, not that she needed it of course more he would feel better if someone was with her, when the door opened once again and Doyle came in holding the morning paper.

“All quiet on the western front Boss.” Doyle said, throwing the paper onto Cordelia’s desk. “Morning Red. Nice to see you up and about.”

Willow blushed slightly, not so much at the compliment, but more at the name Doyle has chosen to call her. Only one other person ever called her that and she was ashamed to admit that it grew on her.

“Do you have anything to do this morning?” Angel asked.

“Manning the office? Not much else till Cordy comes back.” Doyle sat down at the desk. “Why’s that?”

“Willow needs to go to a bar called Caritas. I’d be more comfortable if someone was with her and make sure no one gives her trouble. Fancy an outing?” Angel asked, holding up his hand at Willow when she want to protest. “I know your more then capable of looking after both yourself and Doyle, but it would put me at ease knowing someone else is with you.”

Willow thought for a moment before nodding her head. Hard to argue when Angels point was valid and while she trusts Gary with her life, the fact he had been so vague about it had made her uneasy.

“Why not? Lorne is probably one of the few people in this town I don’t actually owe money too.” Doyle replied standing up and heading to the door.

Willow looked at Angel, nodded her goodbyes and headed out the door with Doyle. After the door closed Angel went into his office. He picked up the telephone and dialled the number for The Bronze.

“Hello?”

“Hi Gary, It’s Angel.”

The other end was silent before Willows uncle answered. “Willow made it to you ok then?”

“She did. Stressed out and exhausted but safe. How’s everything on your end? I’m assuming you’ve had the gang around asking if you know where she is?”

Gary sighed into the phone “Yeah Xander popped around after he couldn’t find Oz or willow in their apartment. Not gonna lie Angel, it was hard to lie to the kid.”

It was Angels turn to sigh. “I understand. But everything will sort itself out I’m sure of it. We both knew this day was coming for years and we’ve prepared for it. She’s on her way to Lorne’s now. The only thing we weren’t expecting was Oz leaving. Whistler made it seem that he would be with her.”

“The situation went out of control. Veruca was more lethal then I thought. If Oz didn’t break the anchor, we would both dead and all the planning we did would have been for nothing.” Gary told Angel. “He might not know it yet but he saved us all. Wish I had the chance to tell him before he left. Mind you I would have also throttled him for hurting her, even if he couldn’t help it, but it would be a grateful throttle.”

Angel smiled into the phone. Even Gary couldn’t be angry at the situation, or the position they were now both in. “I’ll call you if anything happens, but she’s in good hands. I’ll put my feelers out and see if I can find where Oz is heading. Willow mentioned after he left, she did a protection spell for him. I might try and do a locator one later on, see if I can track him that way.”

“Thanks Angel. Look after her will you?”

“Your niece gave me my soul back Gary. I will always make sure she is taken care of.”

They said their goodbyes and disconnected. Angel lent over to open the bottom drawer and took out a leather bound journal.

“Here we go.” He thought, as he looked over the ingredients needed for a locator spell. While time wasn’t a factor, knowing where Oz is at any given time might help should things go south.

He thought about the powers that be and weather they understood the game they were playing when it came to those who walk on the earth. Then we wondered if they would ever have to answer for the meddling they do.

After writing a list of ingredients down Angel closed the book. He locked the door to the office and walked down into his apartment.

Willow wasn’t the only one who need much needed rest for what was coming on the horizon.

Only time would tell if all the planning he and Gary had done for this would actually work. He only hoped that both Willow and Oz will understand once everything starts to fall into place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fate - Four Star Mary


	4. Hearts A Mess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A couple weeks have passed and what’s left of the Scooby Gang are trying to keep themselves together. Buffy reminisces her first night at the Bronze and learns more about the girl who would become her best friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flashback in Italics

It had been a couple weeks since Willow and Oz has vanished without a trace and Xander was starting to lose hope that he would ever see his oldest friend again. While he knew deep down she would be somewhere safe Xander couldn’t help but wish that she would at least call him to tell him herself.

“Earth to Xander?” Buffy pulled him out of his thoughts. “You awake?”

“Yeah I’m here.” He answered “Just got other things on my mind besides the initiative.”

Buffy smiled sadly at him “Willow?”

“Her and the job I’m starting tomorrow.” He replied “But mostly Willow.”

Buffy jumped at the opportunity to change the subject to get Xander’s mind off their missing best friend. After all Buffy knew what it was like to want to disappear for a while to sort ones self out. It didn’t mean she didn’t miss Willow any less.

“So construction?” Buffy asked

Xander only nodded, indicating he didn’t want to talk about it. Buffy sighed and looked at Giles

“So soldier boys? You believe they might be Human?”

“Well yes I believe so. But we do need to find out what they are doing here in Sunnydale.” Giles said. “As hard as that might seems to be right now.”

Xander looked at him and realised what he meant. Between Buffy, Dawn and himself they have spent more time and effort trying to find Willow and Oz then the dark forces that live in Sunnydale.

Buffy exchanged glances between her watcher and her best friend. She knew what the other was thinking and hated taking sides but she knew that Giles was right. “I’ll keep a look out when I go patrolling tonight and see if I can dig something up on them.”

Giles nodded in agreement and stood up “Would either of you like some Tea?” He asked as he moved towards the kitchen.

Buffy also stood “Nah I should head back to my dorm and study. With Willow gone I should actually try and put an effort it on my own.” She turned to Xander “Wanna walk me to campus?”

Xander looked her and sighed. He knew what she was trying to do and while he was over her attempt to take his mind off of Willow and Oz, he decided to play along for Buffys sake.

“Sure.” He got up and walked to the door. “Later G-man.”

“Do stop calling me that.” Giles answered from the kitchen.

Buffy grinned and followed Xander out the door.

“I’ll check in with you after patrol.” Said Buffy as she closed the door behind her. Giles came out of the Kitchen with a cup of tea and sat down at his desk. Weary with thought he sat back in his chair while he took a sip and thought about the missing Witch and Wolf and how he never imagined their lives would ever get as complicated as it had these last couple weeks.

Buffy walked into her dorm and closed the door. Xander didn’t speak much on their way back to campus from Giles’s apartment and she didn’t want to push him into talking when it was obvious he didn’t want to. Putting down her bag on her desk, Buffy slipped out of her shoes and sat down on her bed. She loved having a dorm room to herself, not having to explain why she came and went at all hours of the night. But still apart of her wishes she wasn’t alone especially now. Looking at her dresser she saw the photos that sat there. Silently sobbing Buffy thought back to her first night in Sunnydale...

_Buffy walked into the bronze her slayer sense on high from her encounter with the tall broody stranger from the Alley. After the first day at her new school she needed the wind down and as much as she hated to admit to herself, Cordelia was right about the place. Looking around she saw a flash of red hair from behind the bar. Walking over she saw Willow standing there talking to a middle aged man._

_“Hey Willow.” Buffy sat down_

_“Buffy.. Hey!” Willow looked at her with surprise “Welcome to the Bronze. Your a little early, most people don’t get here for another hour.”_

_“Yeah, kinda just wanted to get out of the house. Do you work here?”_

_Willow looked around embarrassed “Ah well, kinda? But only till 7 cos I can’t serve alcohol.”_

_“That’s pretty cool. Funny Cordelia didn’t mention it to me today?” Buffy said_

_Willow blushed furiously “That’s because she doesn’t know I work here. Or that my Uncle owns half of it. I’m usually finished by the time everyone from school makes their way in. Only Jesse and Xander know and now you.”_

_Buffy smiled at her. She was pretty certain that Willow was going to be a life long friend and she couldn’t be happier at the prospect._

_“Willow! It’s 7.” The middle aged man Willow was talking to had come over. “Whose your friend?”_

_“Oh this is Buffy. She moved her from LA. Buffy this is Gary, my uncle.”_

_Gary looked at quizzically, almost like he was sizing her up, before breaking out into a grin and extended his hand. “How ya doing Buffy? Enjoying our little part of hell?”_

_“Sunnydale is... different to what I was expecting, not gonna lie.” Buffy shook his hand “But people like Willow makes it better.”_

_Willow again blushed while her uncle roared out a laugh. “That she does.” He turned towards the Redhead “Go and hang out with your friend. It was very nice to meet you Buffy.” And with that he turned and walked away._

_“Want a drink?” Willow asked_

_“Sure. Coke sounds great.”_

_Willow poured two cokes into cups and put them down. She walked from behind the bar and took a seat next to Buffy._

_“Your Uncle is quite a character.”_

_Willow smiled “Yeah he is pretty cool. Xander practically worships him and has since we were kids.”_

_Buffy smiled as she sipped her drink, looking around as the bronze started filling up with people. It was very clear this was a pretty much only place for people to hang out, as she saw the different age groups in the place. Including one very out of place British Librarian._

_“Excuse me. I’ll be back.”_

_Willow looked at her “Oh it’s ok you don’t have to come back.”_

_Buffy looked back at her with a deadpanned look and a slight smile “I’ll be back. Don’t disappear.”_

_Willow nodded and went back to her drink. Buffy saw in the corner of her eye that Willows uncle was watching her, his face unreadable._

_“Protective much? Although after what I saw between Willow and Cordelia today I can’t blame him.” Buffy thought to herself as she approached her new watcher._

It was getting close to Sundown and Buffy was antsy. Silently she walked around her dorm room and started getting ready for patrol hoping that tonight will bring on a lot of activity. She was missing her best friend and needed the distraction with personal time with Mr Pointy and the undead of Sunnydale. And if luck was on her side, maybe she can introduce a certain Blonde haired British Vampire to her favourite stake.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hearts A Mess - Goyte


	5. Trembling Hands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oz makes it to the temple in Tibet. Angel and the gang go up against the scourge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Retelling of Hero. I wanted to keep Doyle in the story so I changed it up. Please comment if you like it or hate it.

It had taken Oz several days on foot to get to the temple on the Tibetan mountain side. The sherpas that had lead him up the mountain had left him over a hour ago, fearful of the temple Oz was venturing to. He couldn’t blame them. While they never spoke about it, he had a feeling they knew what creatures were housed inside the walls and he could smell their fear radiating off them, the higher they climbed up the mountain. Oz had to admit he was glad he was doing this last leg alone. Reaching the big wooden doors, he knocked as loud as he could, hoping someone inside had heard him. Waiting for someone to answer, Oz looked at the heavy door and the designs that were carved into the edge of the door frame. While Oz didn’t understand the language they were written in, somehow deep down he knew what they were.

“It is a warning. For those who climb up the mountain and think this is a safe place for travellers.” Said a voice. Startled, Oz turned around to find an old man standing just behind him. “Although you are not just any weary traveller are you young cub?”

Oz stared, not sure what to make of the old man in front of him. He was a werewolf, that much he knew, but he looked more at peace and less at war with the wolf that reside in the same body.

“No, not just a weary traveller. Although I have travelled a fair amount to get here.” Oz replied.

The old man smiled at him. “Indeed. Come inside young cub. There is much you seek and I can see you are eager to learn.”

The man moved passed a very bewildered Oz, and pushed open the doors into the temple grounds. As he stepped over the threshold of the temple grounds, he felt a sudden urge of pain rush through his entire body. Shocked, He knelt over, the wind knocked out of his body and his chest feeling like it was on fire. The old man turned around and knelt down next to him

“It seems you have someone who loves you very much Young Cub.” The man said

“What makes you say that?” Oz asked, as the pain slowly eased.

“You have a very powerful protection charm on you. I would imagine you would know who place this charm on you?”

Oz only nodded, his heart breaking slightly at the love Willow was still showing him. “Do you need to remove it?”

The old man studied Oz for a moment. “Even if I needed to, I cannot. The charm is very powerful and I fear that removing it may harm you or her.”

Oz slowly nodded as he stood up.

“Perhaps it would be best if you let her know your safe. I can only imagine how she is feeling, knowing you are so far away.” The old man said to Oz, before he turned and walked into the temple.

The pain had subsided and Oz started walking behind the mysterious old man, wondering what Willow was doing right at that moment and if she felt the charm kick in. Then the sudden realisation that it had indeed been far too long since he left Willow in Sunnydale. He stopped walking.

“How can I let her know I’m safe?” Oz asked

The old man turned “Follow me Young Cub.” He turned back and continued into the temple.

Oz nodded and slowly followed him inside, his thoughts firmly on Willow. He hoped she was safe.

 

Willow was running towards the dock, Doyle and Cordelia running a bit behind her. They were tuning out of time and she knew what needed to be done.

“Come on Guys. The beacon is about to go off and I don’t want Angel to do something heroic.” Willow yelled. “Not when I can potentially do something about first.”

The trio reached the ship and saw the beacon just above the opening of the cargo hold and Angel fighting soldiers of the scourge. Willow stopped just at the ramp to the boat and turned to the duo behind her.

“Cordelia! Try and find a way to get those people out of the cargo hold. Doyle you come with me.”

Cordelia started to retort and then stopped herself when she saw the situation they were in. Right now was not the time to argue with the red haired witch. Nodding Cordelia ran up the ramp and straight down into the ship to find the exit they needed, should Willow or Angel fail. Doyle turned to Willow and saw the look on her face. If they weren’t careful, one of them would be injured or killed and clearly she was making sure that didn’t happen.

“Lead on Red.” He said to her.

“Put your game face on. We’re gonna need your extra strength.” Willow told him before following Cordelia.

Doyle hesitated for a second, before finally giving in to her request. Of all the people in the world he had met in his life, Willow was the only  
one who could see what kind of person he was, even now when he was scared out of his mind and could easily turn and run, much like he did the last time he encountered the Scourge. He ran after the witch.

Willow ran into the hold and looked around. She saw Cordelia frantically looking for another exit, Angel above her still fighting and then she saw the beacon slowly being lowered into the cargo hold. Turning around she saw Doyle coming up behind her.

“Damn.” She said to herself seeing that things were worse then she thought. It’s time for plan B.

“Doyle go help Cordelia. Our first plan isn’t going to work, we need to go the other way.” Willow told him.

“That’s way too dangerous Red.” Doyle cried. “I can’t let you do it when it could kill you.”

Willow started to respond, when she saw something fall from the opening above. Watching it hit the ground with a heavy thud, she realised that something was Angel.

“Right now Doyle, you don’t get to argue with me. You need to get these people out of here so I can destroy that beacon. You need to trust me okay?” Willow said.

Doyle looked around and saw Cordelia had managed to find another exit, but was having trouble Maintaining order. Turning back to willow he walked over and gave her a quick hug.

“Give em hell Red.” He let go and went to help Cordelia. Willow ran over to Angel hoping he was  
In good shape to make it out of the hold with the others.

“Plan B?” Angel looked up at the witch.

“Yeah.” She replied.

Angel nodded and started picking himself off the ground only to fall back when he realised he was hurt more then he anticipated. Willow waved over the Lister Elder.

“You need to take him and get him out of here now.” She told him.

The elder nodded, waved over another to help and proceeded to half carry half drag the injured vampire out of the cargo hold. Willow looked around to make sure she was alone before she started chanting. She closed her eyes and raised her hands before she felt a presence next to her. Surprised she opened her eyes and saw Doyle standing next to her.

“Are you sure about this Red?” He asked her.

Willow smiled at him. “Yes.”

Doyle looked at her “I should stay with you.”

Willow looked up at the beacon, it’s timer picking up speed. She closed her eyes and turned her face to Doyle. When she opened them, they were black as night

“You should be running.”

Doyle didn’t need to be told twice. Turning around he ran for the door, feeling Willows power grow as she started to chant. As he tumbled into the hallway, where Cordelia was tending to Angel, he pulled the door shut.

The last thing he saw as the door closed was Willow floating off the ground towards the beacon.

Willow was sore. And tired. And sore. She slowly opened her eyes and saw she was no longer in the cargo hold of the ship, but was in Angels bed back at the office. She sat up and saw Angel, Doyle and Cordelia in Angels kitchen waiting for her to wake up.

“Did it work?” Willow asked as she made her way over to the table.

“And then some.” Cordelia answered “Not only did you destroy the beacon, you took out The Scourge as well.”

Willow shuddered. She hadn’t anticipated that.

“Are you okay?” Doyle asked her, handing her a cup of coffee.

“Yeah. Didn’t expect that to take out the scourge that’s all.” She replied. “How are you feeling Angel?”

Angel smiled at her. “I’m fine. A little bit of O positive helped.”

Willow smiled a little bit and sipped her coffee. Her muscles burned and her head was slightly pounding but she was happy that the threat had passed.

“Something came for you by the way.” Angel told her.

Willow stared at him. “Oh? From Gary?”

Angel smiled warmly at her. “Actually no.”

Willow stared at Angel, panicking. No one else knew she was here.

“What is it?” She asked Angel.

Cordelia went over to the elevator and picked up a wooden box. “It wasn’t wrapped or anything. I also don’t think it was sent in the mail.” She told Willow as she put it down on the kitchen table.

Willow looked it over. It was beautiful. Clearly handmade but also looked old and weathered. She could also feel magic radiate off the box as she ran her hands over the latch. Putting down her coffee cup, she unlatched the lock and opened it up.

Inside was mass array of objects. A beautiful silk scarf, a silver chain with a charm attached, crystals galore and various postcards. In the middle there was a letter with her name scrawled on the front in writing she would recognise for the rest of her life. Catching a breath she reached in and grabbed the letter.

“Who’s it from Red?” Doyle asked, as he looked over her shoulder at the contents inside.

Tears started to well up in her eyes as she looked at the contents in front of her. When it dawned on her that Doyle has asked her a question, she only replied with one word.

“Oz.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trembling Hands - The Temper Trap


	6. Wish You Were Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Willow receives a Letter from Oz.

Willow sat at Angels kitchen table and looked at the letter in her hands. She was alone now, Angel making an excuse to drag the others upstairs so she could have time to herself. He knew better then anyone what this feels like, after Buffy’s sudden appearance just after Thanksgiving, he had spent at least a week downstairs brooding away. She was very thankful that she was busy that day. As much as she missed home and her family, what she was achieving here was more important.

She only wished Oz was with her.

 

Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath and opened the letter he had written her. The paper was from the lyric journal she had brought him last Christmas. Opening her eyes she started to read.

 

_Willow,_

_I_ _’m such an idiot._

_Until I met you I never knew what it was to love someone so completely. So desperately. You had me under your spell the moment I laid eyes on you at the Bronze and I have never ever regretted a single moment with you._

_Right now I’m regretting my life without you._

_I know I don’t deserve your love or your forgiveness over what happened. I never wanted you to be In the position I put you and I will live with that every day of my life. When I left Sunnydale, I left believing I had lost your love along with your trust and it was a very hard pill to swallow._

_But I deserved that after Veruca. I was so blinded by her that I didn’t see the danger that she presented to you. It was selfish not to tell you about her straight away even though I had so many chances to do so. And now here I am, apart for the one thing in my whole life I have ever loved._

_I found a place to help me. It’s taken me across the world and away from you to find it but it’s here. And the moment I walked in, I felt the love you have for me. I wasnt expecting you to place a protecting spell on me after everything I did. Even the monks were amazed and all I felt was pride._

_Then shame._

_I love you. You are all I want and I hate that I choose to be reckless, to leave you alone without an anchor._

_I know your giving Sunnydale hell._

_I understand if you don’t want to write back after everything._

_But if you do, just put it in the box._

_I miss you._

_I love you always._

_-Oz_

 

Willow folded the letter up and put it on the table.

And for the first time in weeks, she cried her heart out.

 

 

Angel gave her a couple hours before he headed back down into the Apartment. The moment he saw the box sitting on his desk, he could smell it the faintest trace of the werewolf that only got bigger when Willow opened the box itself. He had heard of the boxes before but never seen one in the flesh and was curious to see it properly. He found Willow sitting at the table still, staring off into space.

“Hey.” Angel said quietly.

Willow looked up at him and he could see that she had been crying. He smiled sadly at her, his heart breaking for her. After Buffy came to town and time reset, he was feeling very much the same as Willow was. But now willow had something else.

She has hope.

“He made it somewhere that can help him. Somewhere in the great wide world.” Willow said.

“Good news?” He asked.

Willow smiled sadly at him “Yeah. It’s good news.”

“But?” Angel pressed

Willow looked down at the letter “What if he doesn’t want to come back? He still thinks I’m in Sunnydale and kicking ass with Buffy. What if he thinks I don’t want him back?” Tears started to spill from her eyes.

Angel knelt down next to her, putting his hand on her back. “What makes you think that? You know he loves you and even after what happened I know you love him.”

Willow sniffled. “I know. And I do.”

Angel smiled at her “ So write him back. Tell him where you are and make sure he knows that he has to come back.”

Willow smiled “I will. Thanks Angel.”

Angel nodded and rose. He walked to the kitchen and started making some tea.

“How did Cordelia go with Doyle? I mean it’s not every day you find out someone your close with is half demon?” Willow asked.

Angel chuckled “She is handling it pretty well actually. They were more worried about you actually. It’s not everyday they see someone close to them go full witch mode.”

Willow grimaced. While Cordelia did know a little bit about her power, Doyle had never seen it in person.

Until now that is...

Willow stood up from the table. “I need to go and see The Host again.” She told Angel.

Angel turned and looked at her “Ok? Right now?”

Willow turned and faced him. “I need to find out what I’m meant to be doing to help myself. Oz found somewhere to help him and I’m here for me, but I can’t seem to figure out where to start. I need to know what to do and he can help with that.”

Angel folded his arms. “Are you sure?”

Willow had her resolve face on and Angel knew she was sure.

“Ok. But I’m gonna come along with you.” He said to her.

Willow smiled at him, looked over the contents from the box Oz had sent to her.

 She finally felt like everything was going to work out for the both of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wish You were here - Incubus


	7. Magic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angel and Willow Visit Lorne

Chapter 7 

Angel looked around the crowded bar in awe. He was surrounded by numerous Vampires and demons and not one of them were doing anything more then drinking their drinks and talking with each other. Angel hadn’t seen anything like it before in the 200 years of being a vampire. 

It was unnerving to say the least. 

Angel looked at Willow, who was looking around for the Host while drinking a Diet Coke. She was nervous, her leg bopping up and down as she scan the bar. 

“Where is he?” She grumbled. 

“What does he look like?” He asked

Willow looked up at him, her nervousness showing in her eyes. 

“Tall, green, horns with Red eyes?” 

Angel once again surveyed the room looking out for the demon who matched the description. He saw at least four before he turned back to Willow. 

“I’m sure he is around somewhere. Let’s just enjoy the energy until he shows up.” Angel suggested to her.

Willow looked at him, her nerves settling down enough for her to smile a little smile. 

“Your right. Thanks for everything Angel. I really do appreciate everything." Willow told him sincerly "It makes being away from home a little bit more bearable.” 

Angel look at her and smiled slightly. 

“I know what you mean.” He told her “ I miss Sunnydale every day...” 

“You do?” She asked 

Angel nodded. “I do. Living on a Hellmouth wasn’t exactly my idea of a good time, but it was the first place where I felt a sense of belonging. A sense of home.” 

Willow looked at him in awe. 

“ I never thought of you as someone who would crave something like that.” She said honestly. “ I guess I should have known though. I mean, Buffy is still there and I can imagine for you, home is wherever she is.” 

“And I’m sure you few the same when it comes to Oz.” Angel Replied. 

Willow hung her head a little bit and nodded. 

“Why hello little Witch.” A voice said behind them. “How are you this fine evening?”

Willow and Angel turned around and saw Lorne standing behind the bar. He was wearing a purple suit and a bright blue shirt and holding a martini. Angel was sure he knew what to expect when Willow gave until he saw The Host standing in front of him. 

“Lorne! I’m kinda ok I guess.” Willow replied looking as lost as the day she first walked into Angel’s office. “Still trying to figure out somethings.” 

“And you finally decided to let me help you?” Lorne mused “ And you brought Mr Broody with you, how delightful!” 

Angel looked back and forth between Lorne and Willow. “Mr Broody?”

Lorne smiled. “Don’t worry about it AngeCakes. Brood all you want here, no one will disturb you.”

Willow stifled a laugh before turning to Angel, who looked like he was about to punch something. “I should explain. Lorne can read auras.” 

Angel looked back at the green demon who in turn was smiling back at him. “And your future if you are brave enough.”

“Brave enough?” Angel questioned 

Lorne pointed his finger to the stage at the back of the club. It was currently occupied by a matador type demon who was singing Don’t stop me now by Queen at the top of his lungs. 

“Singing?” Angel asked

Willow looked at Angel 

“When you sing, you bear your soul and Lorne can see into it and tell you your future.” She explained.

“By singing?” Angel reiterated 

Lorne smiled at the souled vampire “or humming or whistling. Singing does work better though. Is that why your here Willow?” 

Willow blushed and nodded “I’ve been putting it off, I need to get myself on the right path.. figure out what to do to help myself. Like Oz has...” 

“You heard from Oz then?” Lorne asked her

“I did. He sent me a letter from a monestary in Tibet." Willow answered, a little saddness behind her voice.

Lorne looked at her, confusion in his eyes "Didnt he only leave about a month ago? Mail is quick from Tibet." 

"Not exactly... He sent Willow a Pandora box." Angel told him 

Lorne's eyes grew wide. Willow looked at Angel with a confused look on her face  
"You know what that box is?" She asked him.

"I've never seen one but I have heard about it before. Its a communication box dating back to the dark ages. Its part of a pair so I can only assume Oz has the other." Angel replied. 

"Wow... I always thought Pandoras box brought all the evil in the world." Willow said, drinking down the last of her drink.

“Common misconception. Magic was feared for a long time.” Angel told her.

“Well Angelcakes, don’t you have a wealth of information.” Lorne told the souled Vampire.

Angel grimaced and took a sip of his drink while Lorne redirected his eyes to Willow, who was shifting uncomfortably in her bar stool. Angel could feel fear radiate off her in waves. 

“Ready?” Lorne asked her, with a slight hint of amusement in his eyes. He no doubt was very used to the fear Willow was showing. Angel found it amazing she was so afraid considering she performed on stage in Sunnydale all the time. 

“Yeah. Let’s get this over with.” She mumbled, sliding off her stool and started towards the stage. The queen singing demon had finished, somehow on his knees and was having trouble getting back up. Giving up, he crawled on his hands and knees towards the edge and slid off towards the crowd. Lorne handed Willow a fresh microphone as she walked up to the stage. 

“What would you like to sing?” He asked her 

“Can I sing something original? Without music?” 

Lorne looked at her in surprise. 

“Of course. Whatever makes you comfortable.” He replied. 

Willow smiled at him gratefully. “Thanks.”

Lorne turned to the crowd. “Please give it up for Willow singing an original.”

The crowd starts to cheer as Willow picks up the microphone and starts singing.

Call it magic  
Call it true  
I call it magic, when I'm with you  
And I just got broken  
Broken into two  
Still I call it magic, when I'm next to you

And I don't, And I don't, And I don't, And I don't  
No I don't, it's true  
I don't, No, I don't, No, I don't, No, I don't  
Want anybody else but you

I don't, No I don't, No I don't, No I don't  
No I don't, it's true  
I don't, No I don't, No I don't, No I don't  
Want anybody else but you

Ooh

Call it magic  
Cut me into two  
And with all your magic, I disappear from view  
And I can't get over, can't get over you  
Still, I call it magic  
You're such a precious jewel

And I don't, And I don't, And I don't, And I don't  
No I don't, it's true  
I don't, No I don't, No I don't, No I don't  
Want anybody else but you

I don't, No I don't, No I don't, No I don't  
No I don't, it's true  
I don't, No I don't, No I don't, No I don't  
Want anybody else but you

I want to fall, fall so far  
I want to fall, fall so hard

I call it magic  
And I call it true  
Call it magic

Ooh

And if you were to ask me  
After all that we've been through  
"Still believe in magic?"  
Well yes, I do  
Oh yes, I do  
Yes, I do  
Oh yes, I do  
Of course I do

Angel stood up and started clapping. The rest of the crowd was stunned in silence at her as she started blushing furiously from the attention. Slowly the crowd started joining in with Angel and the place filled with applause. Lorne stood stunned beside Angel. 

“Wowsers.... Her voice is just incredible...” Lorne said to the vampire. “Her path ahead is going to be very long... I hope your ready to be the person she needs to be there Angel.” 

“I’m ready.” Angel replied with conviction. “I promised Whistler and Gary that I would be ready.” 

“Good.” Lorne replied before turning attention to the witch who was making her way through the crowd. “That was incredible Little one!” 

“Thanks. It’s nice to get that one out.” She replied.

Angel looked at Willow, a slight look of sympathy in his eyes. He could understand the pain she was feeling after getting Oz’s letter. He knew it was almost time to let her know everything he knew and the things Gary, Whistler and himself had put into place to ensure she was safe and ended up exactly where she needed to be. Lorne looked at Angel again. Lorne knew everything that was about to happen and no doubt knew about Angels part in Willows life. 

“So am I in the right place? For for trying to help myself?” Willow asked, stammering with a hint of fear. 

Lorne sighed and shifted to behind the bar. Without answering her he started fixing a vary of drinks and place them in front of Angel and a now sitting Willow. He placed a third in an empty stool next to Angel, almost as if there was someone there. Angel eyed the drink with curiosity, Nikka Whiskey on the rocks with a hint of lime, before turning his attention back to the green skinned demon who was drinking a dry martini. Willow was apprehensively drinking down Midori and sprite that was placed in front of her. 

“Who is the whiskey for?” Angel asked, though he felt he already knew the answer. 

“Him.” Lorne pointed behind Angel and Willow, who both turned to see who Lorne was pointing to.

Behind them in the crowd stood Rupert Giles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Magic - Coldplay


	8. Blame it all on me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amy is de-ratted. Tara and Amy talk about their brush with The Gentlemen. Gary has secrets of his own

Chapter 8

Amy Madison sat down in front of the shy timid blonde before her in the student lounge of UC Sunnydale still trying to wrap her head around how she ended up to this point in her life. After their run in with the gentlemen last night, she was tired and still nursing a sore ankle, not to mention the added stress of becoming a full time scooby in Willow's absence.

Amy felt like she could sleep for days. 

"So do you fight monsters alot?" Tara asked her, breaking Amy out of her thoughts

"Only for about 2 months." Amy Replied "Before that I was kinda living in cage"

"Oh?" Tara looked at her with curiousity.

Amy smiled at the petite girl in front of her. 

"Long story short we had what we call the Sunnydale witch trails back when I was a senior in High school. I was tied to the stake about to be burnt alive, by parents of my high school friends no less, so I kinda turned myself into a rat."

Tara looked at her, her mouth hanging open slightly. "Oh Goddess."

Amy smiled again "It wasnt that bad. A member of my coven at the time looked after me, tried to turn me back human for the longest time. I gave up hope until she finally managed to do it."

Tara smiled a little smile, while trying to hide her face behind her hair. "Im glad she did." She said, almost in a whisper.

Amy looked at her in awe and reached out to take her hand, feeling the electrical spark from the night before 

"So am I." 

2 months Prior

Willow looked at the poor naked girl in front of her, still feeling the incantation in the air. While she prayed that it would work, she was still in awe of the amount of powers she pocessed when she didnt have an anchor to hold her down. 

"Amy? Are you ok?" Willow reached out to touch her shoulder. Amy turned around to face her, hesitating only for a second before she wrapped Willow up in a hug, crying into her shoulders. Willow awkwardly returned the hug while keeping tears from running down her own face.The last couple days had taken its toll on her nerves and the last thing she wanted was to show it to a now de-ratted Amy. 

"I thought I was never going to be human again. Thank you, thank you so much Willow" Amy said, sobs racking her body. She suddendly stoppped when it dawned on her that she was quite naked. "Also.... Clothes?"

Willow let go of Amy and pointed to the bedroom "Grab anything from the closet." She said. Amy dashed out of the room and closed the door behind her. Walking to the closet, she opened up the door to find something to wear, hoping Willow had something in her size. Running her hand through the clothes, she noticed alot of mens clothes along with Willows, although there alot of empty hangers in the wardrobe. Finding something to put on, Amy went and looked in the mirror. She looked like hell, straw still hanging in her hair and she was quite pale. Spending time in a cage had not agreed with her at all. Pulling out the straw and moving towards the bathroom she quickly washed her face and pulled her hair back into ponytail with an elestic she found on the sink. Slowly she made her way back out to where Willow was waiting. 

"Thanks for the loaners." Amy said, startling Willow from her thoughts. It was at that point Amy finally saw Willow's face and the distraught she was clearly trying to hide. "Hey are you ok?"

Tears fell freely from Willow's face as she buired her head in her hands. Amy went over and put her arms around the witch. Something wasnt right, Amy could feel it in the air along with the magic Willow had used to turn her back. Looking around she saw photos all around the apartment. Willow with Buffy and Xander, Graduation photos of Willow and her friends and plenty of pctures of Willow and Oz. In the corner of the living room, sat what Amy could only assume was Oz's guitar. slowly it dawned on Amy that this wasnt just Willow's apartment, but Oz's as well. 

"Willow? Where's Oz?" Amy asked, fearing the answer. She had lived in Sunnydale her entire life and knew it wasnt exactly the safest place to be in. 

"He - he left." Willow replied, sobbing into her hands.

"What? Why? What happened?" Amy Cried. 

An hour later, Amy just held Willow who was crying again. She could see bruises and healed wounds all over Willow’s arms where she had battled it out with the were-bitch from the night before. It was at that point Amy noticed Willows bag at the front door. 

“Your leaving too, arent you?” She asked, knowing exactly what the answer was.

Willow stopped crying enough to answer “I can’t stay in Sunnydale... Not without an anchor. It’s too risky for me and everyone else.” 

Amy sighed, pulling Willow in closer as she started to cry again. She understood what Willow was telling her and she knew that this wouldn’t be an easy decision to make. Amy also knew that without Oz, no other anchor would be powerful enough to stop Willow’s magic from going out of control. 

Love was indeed quite a powerful magic all on its own and it was even stronger when the two in love were soulmates. 

A single act of betrayal is enough to fracture that magic. Amy knew she could be angry at Oz for the predicament Willow was in, but she also knew he would be just as broken as the red haired witch in her arms...

“Amy?” Tara asked,reaching her hand out to take Amy’s. “Are you ok?”

Amy looked at Tara, a shy grin on her face. 

“Yeah. Sorry I was just thinking about Willow.” She said, a hint of sadness in her voice. 

"You miss her alot. I understand that.." Tara told her 

"I do..." Amy said "But right now, I'm happy that im here." 

Tara smiled at Amy and took her hand once more.

 

Gary finished loading the last tray of dirty beer glasses into the dishwasher. It had been a very long couple of days since The Gentleman came calling and started thier muderous rampage and he was very happy to be able to open The Bronze back up.

The ability to speak again,well that was a whole other story. 

After turning on the washer, Gary made his way upstairs to his office and sat down behind his desk. His eyes brushing over the photos he kept on his desk. Willow and him on her 18th birthday a couple months ago, a photo of his parents and sister from when he was a young boy and finally a photo of four teenagers taking a couple decades ago.

Gary smiled as he picked up that purticular photo. It was a good memory to keep close. A reminder of why he was in Sunnydale to begin with. Looking at the photo, he looked at the young faces smiling back at him. Looking up at him was of course himself, looking young and dashing as ever, Ira Rosenberg, Glasses on with his arm around his soon to be wife Sheila. Standing next to them in a leather duster and smile on her face was Nikki Woods, holding in her arms her new born son Robin. Gary sighed as he stared at his three friends, all now gone from his life, leaving behind two children . Robin had only been four when Nikki had been killed while on patrol and after much debate between the trio, it was decided that he would be best left in the care of Nikki's watcher Bernard.

Gary got letters from time to time from them both from Beverly Hills. He made a mental note to let them know Willow was in L.A next time he wrote to them. Putting the photo down, he looked at the time and grimaced. Rupert would be in LA by now, he was certain of that, just as he been certain of Rupert’s anger when Gary informed him of Willows whereabouts and why he didn’t come forward in the first place. But Gary knew that once Rupert encountered Lorne, like he did not too long ago, that he will understand their decision. After all, Willow without an Anchor in sunnydale could lead her down a dark path and he promised her parents he would look after her should something happen to them. He wasn’t just her Godfather anymore...

Gary was her watcher...

Sighing once again, he turned to the schedule on his desk to see who was playing tonight. Losing three bands in one hit had hurt but he was making do. Shy had all but disappeared when Veruca “mysteriously” vanished. Devon was still figuring out if they were going to replace Oz in the interim of Oz’s sabbatical, with Willows band in the same boat. 

Maybe it was time to get the two bands together and work something out between the two. 

Gary looked at the clock again. Time to get this show on the road, so to speak, and get ready for open. 

And in a couple days, when Rupert is home, he will know for certain that Willow is right where she needs to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blame it all on me - British India

**Author's Note:**

> Go your own way - Fleetwood Mac


End file.
